What Takahashi Kazuki Doesn't Want You to Know
by The Fellow Marauder
Summary: These are some short chapters on what REALLY happened with the characters in YGO. How Yami Malik really first appeared, how Seto Kaiba really gained control... that sort of thing. Please R&R!
1. How Seto First Gained Control

If anyone has read KH4ever's "Know Your Stars: YGO style", this is probably going to be similar to that. But stupider. MUCH stupider. But it is my fault. I have no life. ENJOY!  
  
I'll say this again: FF.NET NEEDS A GENRE FOR STUPIDITY!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YGO. -.-  
  
What Kazuki Takahashi Does Not Want You to Know. By: Shuuichi's Kindred Spirit  
  
Chapter One: How Seto Gained Control.  
  
Kaiba ((A/N: SKS does not know how to spell Seto's step-father's name. He will be called Kaiba')) was in his office. Out of all the money in the world, he could not find himself a decent bowl of ramen noodles. He had searched the Earth; China, Japan, Korea, Australia, and even that obese-fried food obsessed America. No ramen was ever good enough. No ramen was ever tasty enough. No ramen had the right seasonings or was cooked at the right temperature. Thus, Kaiba sat in his chair, in his office. His head was down on his desk and he was sobbing in frustration. "Why?" He cried out in vain. "Why can I not have a decent bowl of ramen? One cooked at the right temperature. One that does not have too much broth. One that has the right seasonings and the noodles are just right. Why? Is having the perfect bowl of ramen a crime? Is it wrong?!" He sat and blubbered about in shame and want for the perfect ramen. Finally, in a last desperate attempt, he cried out, "RAMEN! I WILL GIVE MY KINGDOM OF KAIBACORP FOR THE PERFECT BOWL OF RAMEN!" Unfortunately for Kaiba, however, Seto was sitting outside his office and was listening. Mokuba was with him. Turning to his little brother, Seto smiled and said,  
  
"C'mon, Moky. Let's go find our step-father a bowl of ramen." He then got up and walked away, down the hall. Mokuba grabbed the tail end of his jacket and caught his brother's attention.   
  
"But why, big brother?"  
  
"Because," Seto explained simply. "Did you not hear him? He will give his kingdom of KaibaCorp for the perfect bowl of ramen."  
  
"I heard that," Mokuba replied. "But why must WE find it?"  
  
"Because if we do, we can take over KaibaCorp and he will never find out I spent his million dollars on Playstation 2 games." Mokuba nodded his head in understandment although, in fact, he did not understand at all. So Seto and Mokuba left the mansion of their step-father's in search of the perfect bowl of ramen.   
  
Seto and Mokuba were gone several days. Roughing it through the terrain of Domino City and through the telephone booths to out-of-city ramen shops, they finally found themselves the PERFECT bowl of ramen. The noodles were delectable. They were not too soft and not too hard. The seasoing was heavenly. The temperature was perfect. The broth was proportional and it even came with free bread! Seto bought a bowl of ramen and brought it back home to his step-father.  
  
When they arrived back at the mansion, Seto presented the bowl of ramen to Kaiba. Kaiba was hesitant. Throughout his search for the perfect bowl of ramen, he had lost hope time after time of ever finding it. Once he tasted this ramen, he was spent. He gobbled it right up and afterwards let out a hearty belch. He smiled in satisfaction as he slid back into his seat. "That was some good ramen! Seto, my boy, you have done well."  
  
Seto held out his hand. "The rights to your kingdom."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want the rights to your kingdom." Seto stated again. "You promised that whoever found you the world's prefect ramen, you would hand over your kingdom of KaibaCorp. Well, step-father; I have found you the perfect bowl of ramen. I demand your kingdom." Kaiba was astonished. When he refused, Seto overthrew him and took the kingdom of KaibaCorp away from his adoptive step-father. Kaiba was enraged.   
  
"NNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
And that, my fellow Yu-Gi-Oh fans, is the truth.   
  
---ending notes: pretty stupid, huh? Hope you liked anyway. R&R!--- 


	2. Why Yami Malik First Appeared

"Isis," Malik said when they were younger. As always, Odion was standing by the wall and keeping watch on Malik.

"Yes, little brother?" She responded.

"Why do we have to be Tomb Keepers? Why do we have to stay down here all the time?" Isis looked up from what she was doing and a sad smile spread across her face. What was she to tell Malik? He was so young and niave. Would he even understand?

Isis reached out and put her arms around her younger brother, gently pulling him closer to her. "Malik, one day you will inherit the rights to become the next Tomb Keeper. We do this because the Ancient Scriptures prophesized that the pharaoh will return to this planet and he will once again save the world from a darker evil."

"But why do I have to be the Tomb Keeper?" He asked. "Why can't you, Isis?" He asked it in complete sincerity. Isis realized this and could not contain her laugh. Malik looked at her confused. "What... what is so funny, sister?"

"I'm... I'm sorry." She apologized. "But it is a little funny. You do not understand, Malik." She touched his head and gently rubbed it. "You will understand when you are older. But, I can assure you. Being a Tomb Keeper is not that bad, You might grow to enjoy it one day."

Malik sighed heavily and his face fell. "Maybe..." He climbed off Isis' lap and walked up to Odion. "Come, Odion. I want you to read me a story."

A few days later...

Odion, being Malik's only true friend and personal guard, knew well of Malik's yearn to see the outside world and experience new things. Because of their head-strong father, Malik was never allowed to set foot outside their home in the ground. But Odion was another story. Only a little while after hearing Malik's conversation with his sister, Odion crept out of the home in the night and went to the nearby village. He collected some things from the trash that the residents of the village had thrown away carelessly. Seeing them as great souveniors for his 'little brother', Odion took them back to the home.

In the morning, when Malik awoke, he found the souveniors next to his bed. When Odion revealed that he was the one who had brought them for him, Malik smiled happily and glomped his arms around his guardian. "Oh, Odion! You're the greatest!" The things that Odion had brought back to little Malik were old magazines; mostly gamer magazines. They had pictures of the outside worlds' video games and electronic fun. One was a fashion magazine and Odion and Malik had fun laughing while quizzing themselves on the fashion quizzes like, 'Are you a Good Kisser?', 'You Like Him, but Does he Like You?', 'Which Celebrity Would Are you Most Compatible With?'. Malik enjoyed looking at all of them. Everytime he looked at them, he smiled and his eyes always sparkled. He especially loved the gamer magazines. He confessed to Odion that he would like to play one sometime. "It looks like a lot of fun! Besides, these paper-people are smiling. They look really happy!"

It was nearly a month before the magazines were discovered by his father. Isis knew of their existance, of course. But she never mentioned it to her father. The time came when Malik was talking excitedly about the contents of the newest magazine and Odion was sitting, listening to him happily. When they were discovered, Malik's father was undoubtedly outraged. "How DARE you!" He screamed, slashing out at Odion. He knew Odion was the one responsible for his son having such 'vile garbage'. Malik's father advanced on Odion and struck him across the face. He fell and blood momentarily splattered from where he had been hit.

"ODION!" Malik screamed, horrified.

"Shut up, Malik!" His father screamed at him. "No son of mine reads gamer magazines! He needs to be punished for what he has done!"

"Father, stop!" Isis screamed.

"I will not!" Their father yelled. His face was red with rage at this point in the fanfic. "Giving my son gamer magazines?!" He yelled at Odion. "You are a disgrace!" He attempted to strike him again when he was stopped. Malik was at his hand and was taking all his strength and might to keep his father from striking Odion again. "What are you doing?" His father demanded through clenched teeth.

"Don't touch him, father!" Malik cried, pleading with him.

"Get away!" With that, Malik's father threw him across the room. Malik hit the wall and went down.

"No!" Isis screamed.

Malik's father then turned back to Odion and raised his fist again. Before he was allowed to hit him, he was once again interrupted; once again by Malik. Malik was no longer Malik; figuratively speaking. His yami spirit had now taken control of his body. Getting up, he walked over to the appreciative layout in the room which held the powerful and honored Millennium Items. Malik picked up the Millennium Rod and turned to his father.

"Malik," Isis said quietly, her eyes open wide in astonishment. "Your hair... it's all... SPIKEY!"

"The spikey hair..." His father said, a little shakingly. "In the Ancient Scriptures, it is revealed that the one who is transformed into one with spikey hair is the reincarnation spirit." ((A/N: -heehee- Now that I think about it, all the yami spirits DO have spikey hair!)).

"That is right. I am the reincarnation and I have resided within this pathetic little child for this long. Finally I have come free. And you, 'father', shall pay." He lifted up his Millennium Rod and his father dropped Odion and fleeted against the wall of the chamber.

"What do you want?" He demanded shakily.

"What do I want?" Yami Malik repeated. "That depends. I just don't want to be the Tomb Keeper."

"But you have to, Malik. It is your destiny!"

"My destiny?!" Malik exclaimed. "My destiny?! My destiny?! My destiny?! My destiny?!" Odion crawled over to his master and slapped him. Malik roughly shook his head. "Thank you, Odion. I was like a broken record." Malik then continued. "I do not want that destiny!"

"What do you want?"

"I want to play Soul Calibur II! I want to play Final Fantasy and Resident Evil and Kingdom Hearts and Zelda! That's all I want! I do not want to be a stupid Tomb Keeper!"

"But that is what we have done our whole lives, Malik! For centuries, our ancestors have lived and protected the tomb for the return of the Pharaoh! He is destined to come back!"

"I only want to play video games, you old fool! Give me my damned video games!"

"Video games are a disgrace!" Malik's father cried. A bad decision; because then the yami Malik got angry enough to engage the Millennium Rod to send his father's mind to the Shadow Realm. He laughed maniacally as he did so. The best way to describe his laughter was like Mandark from 'Dexter's Lab'. "Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!"

---ending notes. Man, that sucked more than the first chapter! It turned out to be more angst than humor, which is sad. But it's a parody. I hope you all think differently and love this. I hope! I hope, I hope, I hope!!!! R&R!!!!!!---


	3. Why Meko's Father Disappeared

"Father!" Meko gasped, running up to the bow of the little fishing boat that was his fathers. He felt the wind in his hair, causing it to blow back from his face. He was laughing, and his father was laughing joyfully with him. "This is so cool! I feel like I can fly!" To prove it, Meko then spread out his arms and closed his eyes, holding back his head and feeling the air rush at him. He smiled in serreal blissfulness. The sea was calling out to him; the sea was rushing in his veins and telling him that there was where he belonged.

When Meko had had enough fun pretending to fly, he ran over to his father. "Father," He inquired. "Why are we out here? What do you do?"

"Well, Meko," His father smiled. "I am a fisherman. A fisherman hunts and captures fish."

"Isn't that cruel?"

"Not really." Meko's father replied. "We eat the fish and they would be eaten by other fish if we did not eat them."

"But why are you a fisherman?"

Meko's father let out another hearty laugh. "I have always loved the sea, my son. It calls to me. I think you can hear those calls too." Meko earnestly nodded his head.

"I can! I can, father!"

"Good." He smiled down at little Meko. "It is a good thing when the sea calls out to you. It means you are special, my son. You are chosen to be one of the few who the sea would love to keep close." With that, he then patted Meko on the head and then went back to work.

Later...

Meko and his father were headed back to shore. They had caught enough fish for the day and they were headed back to sell the fish for profit. Meko looked back out on the vast sea longingly and he sighed heavily. Meko's father laughed. "Do not be sad, my son. We will be back one day."

"I know," Meko said, still sad. "But it is like I am losing a close friend."

"Haha." Meko's father laughed. (A/N: sorry for keep making him laugh; I always pictured him to be laughing). "I know _exactly_ how you feel." They started moving to shore once again, when, out of nowhere and no warning, Meko's father suddenly stopped the boat. Meko looked over at his father, confusion singing on his face.

"What is it?"

Meko's father gasped. "It's... it's so... beautiful..." He said in awe. Meko jumped up and rushed over.

"What?" He asked, excitedly. "What is? What's so beautiful?"

"The... fish..." The man was still in awe. Meko leaned over gently and slowly, attempting to not scare away the beauty that his father was entoxicated by. Meko saw it. In the blue haze of the water, the fish seemed to glow from the indirect sunlight that hit it's gills. However, it also at the same time, seemed to glow with it's own aura and prestige. "I think I want to..." Meko's father said slowly. "Touch it." He sounded faintly possessed. In his eyes, all that he was focused on was the fish.

"No, father!" Meko gasped in horror.

"Relax, Meko." Meko's father said calmly, not looking at his son and keeping his eyes on the fish. "I won't hurt it. I just want to touch."

_... da-da..._

Meko's father's head jerked up. He looked around him. "What was that?"

Meko's eyes narrowed in confusion. "What was what?" He asked.

"That... ominous chord of music just now."

"Huh?"

"You didn't hear it?" His father insisted. He looked at his son and only met the blank face of a confused kid. "When I said 'I just want to touch'--"

_... da-da..._

"THERE IT IS AGAIN!" He insisted. Meko did not hear anything and was a little worried that his father was going mad.

"Uhm..."

_... da-da... da-da... da-da..._

"It's there!" He insisted. "It sounds like the theme song from 'Jaws'!" Meko started to slowly back away.

"Fa... father...?"

_...da-da.... da-da.. da-da da-da da-da..._

"I swear I hear an ominous chord, Meko!" He exclaimed. "It's there! Tell me you hear it!"

"No!" Meko cried. "Behind you!" Slowly, Meko's father turned around. The beautiful fish was out of the water and looked like a mutant shark. It was shiny and beautiful like a Rainbow Fish, but it was a shark nonetheless.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Meko's father screamed and the shark's fin grabbed him and pulled him into the depths of the water below.

"FATHER!!!!!!" Meko cried in horror and absolute sorrow. But no blood arose from the top. Therefore, Meko still held hope in his tiny heart that his father would one day return to him. That is why he took up Duel Monsters instead of becoming a fisherman. But, to this day, he can not look a BETA fish in the eye and not scream.

TBC.

Haha. Not my best work. I still like Kaiba with the ramen better. But I liked it more or less. Haha. I should mention a few things: The 'ominous chord' idea I took from the "Carol Bernett and Friends Show". And the idea for the shark, I have no idea where that really came from. Maybe because I keep seeing those dumb trailers for that new shark movie that critics say "will outbeat 'Jaws' in horror"; when, in fact, it's just another shark movie. And come on. Since when is killing a bunch of teenagers HARD!? Well, laters! ANY NEW PARODY IDEAS ARE WELCOMED!!! Ja ne!


End file.
